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So, why not start with a bad stuff – I am impulsive and restless at times, I can’t kill a fly, I cried twice like a girl when I watched “Notebook,” I cuss too often, and stay up way too late way too often. And what made you weak in your knees from joy and pleasure?

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Here Jon shares his views on disability and relationships, and how meeting his fiancé has changed his perceptions of dating with a disability.Three and a half years ago my entire perspective on dating when you have a disability changed.I tried the approach of fully disclosing my disability in a dating profile (didn’t work at all) and not disclosing it until conversation led to the subject of meeting in person – this approach worked best, though women sometimes chose not to meet me at all once I’d told them the story.I spent more than eight years dating online and after all that, I still can’t tell you I found a sure fire solution to overcoming the barriers of dating when you have a disability.The truth is many single people are chasing an illusion.

Still, getting people to talk about the issues that affect their lives, especially if they are considered to be unattractive or negative, can be a very difficult task.

In fact, there’s next to nothing you should do to try and make it happen aside from being the kind of person you think is loveable. Now that you know the secret to letting love find you or at least what those horrible clichés actually mean, let’s talk about the facts.

Because, if there’s one thing that is absolutely true, it’s that in order to be truly loved you have to love yourself first. Like many of my readers, I have a reality that can’t be ignored.

When you realise that a disability is merely a circumstance and that we all have realities in our own lives that can only be managed and not removed, you can start to appreciate a person for all that they have instead of fixating on the one or two minor things they may lack.

By Jon Bateman We’d love to hear your thoughts on this article and others in our Relationships section.